Olive Cheese Bread

This is from the Pioneer Woman's cookbook, which is a lovely book filled with all sorts of not-at-all lowfat foods that are delicious.

I suggest you make a rule for yourself regarding this bread. My rule is that I can only make it when I'm not at home. It is strictly reserved for vacations, because it is so good, but so bad for you, and once you try it you will have to force yourself to stop eating it.

Seriously.

But if you do make it at home, don't say I didn't warn you.

1 14.5 oz can black olives, drained
1 6-oz jar pimiento-stuffed green olives, drained
2 green onions
1/4 lb (1 stick) butter, softened
1/2 cup mayonnaise (real mayo, no substitutions)
1 lb Monterey Jack cheese, grated
1 loaf crusty French bread.

Preheat the oven to 325.

Chop the olives roughly until most of the large pieces are broken up. Slice the green onions, then chop them roughly.

In a large bowl, combine the butter, mayo, cheese, and chopped olives and onions. Stir until thoroughly combined.

Slice the French bread loaf in half lengthwise and spread olive-cheese mixture in an even layer on each half.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the cheese mixture is thoroughly melting and beginning to turn light brown.

Cut into diagonal slices and serve immediately.

Or take into closet and eat them yourself.

You can prepare the olive/cheese mixture up to 2 days ahead of time and store it tightly covered in the fridge, or spread it on the bread and freeze, tightly wrapped, up to 6 months (thaw before baking).

She also says the cheese mixture is good on crackers and that you can sub drained, chopped artichoke hearts and grated Parmesan cheese for the black olives and Monterey Jack cheese.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

German Cheddar and Beer Fondue

If you don't own a fondue pot, you should. In fact, it wouldn't hurt you to own a few. I have one with a pot made of enameled cast iron, but at a fondue party we hosted a guest brought one that had a metal outer pot for water and an inner pot made of ceramic (basically a double boiler). I'm going to find out what kind it is and get one of those, because it worked really nicely.

Anyhow, if you've never had fondue, you are missing out. Yes, I know, you're basically eating cheese for dinner, but man, is it delicious. Don't fix it every night if you're trying to eat a low-fat diet. At least it's low-carb (depending on what you dip). . .

At our party, we made two cheese fondues. One was a traditional swiss fondue, which was good but didn't quite set correctly. The second was this recipe, which was so good I might have made it for dinner again tonight if I'd had enough cheese. It will be making appearances at future "date nights" the Big Geek and I have at home after the kids go to bed.

You start out making these on the stove in a regular pan and then transfer them to the fondue pot. Or, if you don't have a fondue pot, I guess you could just stand around the stove and eat it, or put it in a little crock pot. From experience, I can tell you what you CAN'T do--you can't make this at home and then try to take it to a party. It won't work out. You can't cool fondue and reheat it--trust me.

This recipe is from Rachel Ray 30-minute Get Real Meals.

10 oz (2 1/2 cups) shredded sharp Cheddar cheese (you can try the low-fat, but I'm not going to)
4-6 oz Gruyere cheese, shredded (1 to 1 1/2 cups)
1 rounded tablespoon flour
1 cup German lager
2 Tbsp spicy brown mustard (I used a whole grain, and it was awesome)
3 drops of Tabasco
3 drops of Worcestershire sauce

In a bowl, combine the cheeses with the flour. Add the beer to a small pot and bring it up to a bubble over medium heat. Reduce teh heat to simmer and add the cheese mixture in handfuls. Stir constantly in in a figure-eight pattern with a wooden spoon, melting the cheese in batches. When the cheese has been incorporated fully, stir in the mustard, hot sauce, and Worcestershire sauce. Transfer to a fondue pot and serve.

Incredibly easy, incredibly delicious.

Serve with:
Cubed or thick sliced sausages
Blanched cauliflower and broccoli (see, it's healthy!)
Green apple slices
Roasted potatoes or carrots
Cubes of bread
Anything else that appeals to you!

Rachel says this recipe serves four. I made two of her fondues, which should have served 8, and 12 people ate it with some of the swiss fondue left over, and I don't think anyone was hungry.

Fondue probably isn't little-geek friendly. Sharp, long forks and bubbling pots of cheese plus kids is not a good combo.